Day 3:

     Whew!  Three days in a row!  This is going to be difficult for me, I can tell already.  I just can't think of anything to say.
     Sundays are hard with kids, there's no two ways 'bout it.  There's no convenient time for a nap, they have to be quiet and still for a whole hour in the same room, you get home from church late, which puts dinner late and their whole routine is thrown off.  Today for some reason, it was particularly hard for Louise.  She's grown particularly fond of her friend Riley's mom, Callie, and when she came to take Riley home from nursery Louise had a full on melt down.  Not the mad, stubborn kind, but the heart broken, gut wrenching kind.  I've never seen her fall apart quite like that.  It was adorable in a very sad way.  I guess we need to have more play dates. :)      

Day 2: My incredible find

     Today I'm feeling especially grateful for Justin.  You know how you just have those days every once in a while?  You know the ones...you're grateful for them and you love them all the time, but some days, for no particular reason, you just feel overwhelmed by how much you love them?  Well, today is one of those days.  :)
     Even the prospect of trying to write about him is overwhelming because there's just so much.  I don't know where to begin.  I'll try anyway.  Maybe I'll talk about just today.
     This was the only day all week where he didn't have to get up early for something, but he still got up at 7 and did his morning scripture study, and then when Louise woke up around 8 he went in and got her, being careful not to wake me up through all of this.  Of course, since I'm pregnant and uncomfortable, I was awake anyway, but I was just so grateful.  Then when Louise ran in to greet me and I needed to get up he came in and carefully swung my legs out of bed for me. :)  This sounds fairly odd, I'm sure, but for the last few weeks I've been struggling increasingly with SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction), which means it's excruciatingly painful to move in any way that my hips aren't perfectly aligned, getting in and out of bed being one of those.  Then we (mostly he, I was just there for moral support) made french toast while he held 23 month-old Louise in the Ergo because she needed a little extra cuddling this morning and we had breakfast as a family.  Today was a day where we didn't really have any pressing plans until the evening, so we kind of just played around all day.  I love days like this because I feel like it's so much easier to be a good parent when you're not in a hurry and you don't have to be anywhere.  You have time to actually let your child stop and smell the roses and perhaps even investigate a few along the way.  I feel like Louise learns so much and makes so many connections when she is left to explore in her own way.  We played in the covers of our bed for a while, read some books, played with Louise's kitchen, then Louise took a nap.
     During her nap Justin and I read from a book called Einstein Never Used Flashcards (a fantastic book that I highly recommend to all parents) and had a great discussion about how we're doing with our parenting.  One thing I've come to realize and feel so blessed for in the last few months is just how much of a hand Heavenly Father had in our courtship and marriage.  Justin and I didn't really talk about anything important before we got married.  We just kind of knew we liked each other a lot, then knew we were supposed to get married.  We never discussed where we wanted to live after we grew up, what kind of parents we wanted to be, when we wanted to be parents, how we wanted to raise our family, how we wanted to live financially, nothing.  I realize now how lucky I am to have found him.  He's truly one in a million.  There's no way I could have been even remotely this happy with anyone else.  We agree on everything important, without even having to discuss it first.  The main thing I'm grateful for is our parenting.  Our style isn't exactly typical, in fact, I would venture to say it's fairly uncommon, especially in a big city like this one.  I won't get into the specifics now, I'll just say we're pretty modern in an old-school way when it comes to a lot of developmental things (keep in mind, he is getting his masters degree in child development from the top child development school in the country.  We're bound to learn some things along the way).  Besides all of that, I'm just so grateful for the kind of father he is.  We're truly equal partners.  He's masculine, but not macho.  He's not afraid to be a goof ball and play with his daughter.  He's tender, sensitive, and emotional with her, even in public.  He leaves Louise and I with no doubt in our minds that we are his #1 priority.  I feel so bad every day because I know how much he longs to be able to stay home with us, yet he goes to work and school anyway so that I can be home with our child.  He loves being a father and playing with Louise as much as I love being a mother.  Louise adores him.
     I'm just so grateful for everything Justin does for us.  He's truly my best friend, and I love him more every day.  Living here alone in Chicago, we've really had to learn to depend and rely on each other, which is a beautiful thing.  I'm so blessed to have found him.  This post can't do him justice, but it's an attempt.  He's the most wonderful man I've ever known, much like my own father.      

             
                 

Accepting the Challenge

     Justin's cousin mentioned on Instagram that this time last year she took on the challenge of writing a blog post every day for a month, even if it was just a sentence or two.  She said she was really grateful that she did it because of all the special moments of her sons life she had recorded and she's doing it again this year, so I decided to do the same thing.  Our blog has really been suffering as we've become more and more busy with an active toddler, school, work, moving, traveling, pregnancy, and everything else that comes up in every day life.  Here goes:
     By way of a quick bit of catch up...we moved and couldn't be happier about it, we're having a girl in December, we went home to Utah for a month, Louise's vocabulary has exploded in the last few weeks, and Justin is doing extremely well with school and everything.  More on all of that later.
     Firstly, our move.  We moved at the end of April, and are 100x happier with our apartment than we were with our last.  Especially with me being pregnant.  Being sick in a clean apartment is so much more pleasant than a dirty one and having an elevator is magnificent.  I'm so grateful to have laundry units in our apartment, and I have a feeling I'll be even more grateful once the baby comes and we have even more washing. :)  I'm so happy at the prospect of parking in a garage and not having to shovel the car out of the snow when it comes time to have the baby or when I'm trying to corral a toddler and carry a newborn.  Also, our utility bills have been astronomically lower.  That being said, for the first several months here we didn't do a whole lot of decorating or even finish the unpacking completely.  I think we were resisting the idea of being here for so long when we so ardently wanted to be in So. Utah with our families.  We finally decided that for our own sanity we needed to go home, so we booked our flights and Louise and I flew out, joined by Justin two weeks later.  That trip was just plain good for our souls.  We felt like the city was choking us and the wide open spaces were just what we needed for a quick pick-me-up.  We resolved while there to make a more concerted effort to be happy here in Chicago.  To make our house feel more like home, or at least a home away from home, and to make more of an effort to make friends.  Over the first few weeks when we got back we finished unpacking, hung all of our pictures, bought and hung some curtains, moved our bed to a place where I could actually make the bed, hung a lamp and some mirrors, hung a copy of The Family: A Proclamation to the World, and framed and hung our crowning purchase: a gorgeous print of the St. George temple.  We decided that we needed our home to feel more spiritual and to be surrounded by heavenly things, so we wanted to invest in a beautiful piece that would bring a nice spirit into our home for years to come.  My brother's friend Phill Monson posted a picture he took of the temple during monsoon season on Facebook a few months ago that we loved and bought.
     To make a long story longer, we feel much more at home in our home.  It also helps that I've been feeling a little better and have been able to keep up with the housework more.  Life is good.  Really good. :)

This picture portrays the emotions we felt at finally being home much better than any words I could say. :)

This is the picture by Phill Monson.  So gorgeous.  We love it.

This is the only picture from the ultrasound that actually resembles a baby.  Sort of, anyway.  I think she's sucking her thumb.  It's a girl. :)  Cora Dixie.

Louise Facetiming with Grandma and Grandpa and giving them "bites."

My new curtains.

Our picture wall.  Ignore the one that still says Merry Christmas.

Louise and her bestie Riley reading.

Louise is a little obsessed with shoes, regardless of size or fit.

25 weeks.  Sorry about the look of concentration, those belly shots are hard!

Doesn't she just look elated?  This is what we got her for her birthday...in October. :)

           

The Art of Appreciation

I always found it slightly humorous that if your group is large enough at a sit-down restaurant, they tack on a fee and call it "gratuity".  It's funny because I always think of the word gratitude, and it's just... funny.  "We know you're grateful 'cause we're awesome.  We'll just add it to your bill."  Slightly humorous, like I said.  (No idea if they're actually related.  Some of you English buffs [geeks is offensive], get on it.)

Anyway, this is going to be a little bit of me, "gratuitating".  (Look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls!)  You'll find that Claire hasn't asked for any of this, I'm just kind of tacking it on, all unexpected and rude like. She can write an obnoxious review of my disservices later on "YelpTwitFace" thing later, if she wants.

I'm blessed with the most amazing family ever.  I don't even know where to begin on Claire.  As the Doctor to my Rose, the Jane to my Tarzan, and the Gandalf to my Bilbo... she expands my whole universe.  (Admit it: you thought I was taking that a different direction.)  She does things intuitively that are so brilliant, I'm just constantly in awe of her.  She's such a fantastic mother.  In my spare time, I'm trying to read big, dry books with titles like "Affect Regulation, Mentalization, and the Development of Self", and "The Neurobehavioral and Social-Emotional Development of Infants and Children".  This is heavy stuff; it's all very abstract and complex.  When I take something that I think I'm finally beginning to crack the code of and try explaining it to Claire, she listens politely and then just says, "Well, yeah.  That just makes sense."  That's really why I'm getting all of this education; I'm just trying to catch up.  "Wait for me, sweetheart!  I'll get it.  Give me ten years or so; I'm working on it."

She is the best mother I've ever had the pleasure of watching interact with her child.  She is so incredibly patient with Louise.  I've chosen a field where one of their mantra's is "All behavior is meaningful".  Claire lives it.  She just understands what Louise is trying to achieve, what she's trying to tell us with her actions.  It's awesome; Claire is so good at reflecting back to Louise what she's feeling that one of Louise's favorite words right now is simply, "Yeah."  Most of the time, Claire will reflect or wonder something about what Louise wants, and Louise will say, "yeah", and then grin, laugh, and dance because she's so excited that Claire "got it".  It's an absolute pleasure to watch; doing so is one of the simplest, greatest pleasures I am afforded in life.

Since being out here, just north of the heart of Chicago, I've really come to appreciate something else about Claire.  Child care out here almost seems mandatory.  Everybody I know does it, endorses, and pushes others to do it.  It's crazy; a very different world from the one that I grew up in.  In the midst of all this, and in a place where it's a virtual full-time job keeping a busy twenty-month-old little girl happily occupied all day, Claire does it and loves it.  She's incredible; I've had her, numerous times, tell me how bad she feels for me, because I don't get to stay home and be with Louise all day.  What sort of awesomeness is that?  I, for one, can't wait to get home when I get off of work, with that kind of attitude and positivity waiting for me!  She's the absolute best.

And then there's Louise.  I just don't know where this kid came from.  At twenty months old, she has a sense of comedic timing that would put the Three Stooges to shame!  Her latest and greatest is that, when I do something that she's not particularly fond of, yet not legitimately mad about, she'll pucker her lips, narrow her eyes to slits, and knit her eyebrows together in a scowl that would make the old guy on "UP" jealous.  Then, without skipping a beat, she'll just smile and laugh, as if she had just made the greatest joke ever.  I love this kid.  These days, she's also all about filling Mom's and Dad's shoes: literally.  She'll slide her feet into any empty pair that's lying about, as well as putting on a variety of hats, and putting anything with a handle in the crook of her elbow like a purse.  When we catch her unawares or startle her, her response lately is to laugh rapidly and drop flat to the ground, smiling.  She's also our resident social butterfly; every time we put her in the stroller for a walk, it's a constant, "Hi", with a wave, to every person who walks within view.  That's right, I said within view, not within earshot.  Sound waves don't matter a bit to this girl.

Finally, I'm really appreciating at this point the little one who is as of yet "To be determined".  It'll either be Cora Dixie or Eugene Kenneth, when we find out here in a few weeks.  We'll keep you posted.  Until then,

Hang Loose.

Yay for moving!/Louise update

     We're moving to another apartment in Evanston at the end of April and we can hardly wait.  It will be such a relief.  The new place has central heating and air (a huge plus!) so we'll pay a fraction of what we pay for utilities now, but we'll actually be comfortable, it has a washer and dryer in the unit, so no more trips down 3 flights of slippery stairs with laundry and a toddler to the coin operated laundry in the basement, it has a parking garage so we'll have a guaranteed space (no more parking blocks away), it's smaller which will also make it warmer in the winter, and best of all...IT'S CLEAN!  I'm so excited. :)

     We're just subletting the apartment we're in now, so we never really were planning on staying here for a long time, but after seeing it and living in it for 8 months we're definitely ready to move on.  This next apartment will be much more permanent.  We'll possibly be here in Chicago for at least 8 years.  Since this is a fairly permanent move for us (we'll be there longer than we've been anywhere else), I'm finally going to get to decorate.  I've got Louise's room all figured out, but I have no ideas for anything else.  For her room I'm going to paint all 4 walls aqua blue (so if our next child is a boy it will be ok), with a coral stencil over the top of one.  I'm going to paint her crib white or grey, find a dresser/changing table on Craigslist and paint it white or grey, find a storage cube organizer thing and paint it white, and all of the linens and accents will be coral.  I got some coral damask curtain from the '70s and some old aqua and coral floral fabric from my mom that I'm going to use.  I'll attach the inspiration pictures:

Except instead of the picture wall I want to do something like this:

This is the stencil I would do in coral:

Now for the fun stuff. :)

Louise is almost 17 months old.  She has the funnest big personality.  I originally wrote little, but her personality is anything but little. :)  

She has this sassy little walk where she pokes her adorable little tummy out and struts like she owns the place, which I guess she pretty much does.  

She babbles incessantly and looks at you expectantly like you should know exactly what she said and have an appropriate response.  

If you're doing anything besides giving her your undivided attention she will grab your hand (she's very particular about grabbing different fingers at different times and will adjust until she gets the finger she wants) and pull you up from your seat, across the room, until you're standing in front of the big mirror.  Then she'll proceed to grin and make funny faces at you in the mirror.  Or she'll stare at you and tilt her head like "what in the world could possibly be more important than entertaining this cute face?"  We love it. :)  

If you're in the kitchen or somewhere facing away from her and she wants your attention she'll pull and shove on your pants and legs hard until you're facing her, then she'll grab your hand and go to the mirror.  Or twirl.  Or reach up to be lifted.  

She is so expressive and such a good communicator.  We almost always know exactly what she wants.  

She LOVES dancing (totally a Nuckles thing) and dances no matter what kind of music is playing (and that chick has moves!).  

She can sign a few things, but she's learning to say words very quickly.  One of the first words she said was "ready?"  

She loves all fruits and vegetables and would eat only them for every meal if I'd let her.  

She absolutely loves to be outside, which is unfortunate since it's so cold and snowy out right now.  She always grabs the keys and stands by the front door looking at us expectantly.  

She is SO social.  When we go on walks we let her decide where we go and she just toddles around following and talking to dogs and people who cross our path (we never get far, but we walk a lot).  She yells "HI!!!" and waves at people and especially dogs from blocks away.

She's very into giving kisses (not on demand, however) and even says a dramatic "mmoowaaaaa" with each one.  She likes to give hugs, too, but then she doesn't want to seem overly affectionate, so she gives a loving shove afterward to ward off any rumors (see video below). 

She likes to stand in the windowsill and watch the passersby.  She gets really excited and laughs when dogs go by.  Every time daddy leaves she stands there and waves and blows kisses until he's out of sight.  Then she waves and blows kisses to everyone else. :)

She's very sensitive about when she thinks she has hurt other people's feelings or when she thinks she's being made fun of. 

She has 3 distinct cries: 

     (1) her "complain" cry, which isn't really a cry, just a...well, complaint. 

     (2) her "mad/offended" cry, which has furrowed eyebrows. 

     (3) her "embarrased/hurt feelings" cry.  This is the one that comes with the pouty lip.

She hates diaper changes.  Hates them.  I'm hoping this will improve when we get an actual changing table.    

She still takes 2 solid 2 hour naps every day.  I was afraid a few weeks ago that she was transitioning to 1, but it turned out she was just getting 2 molars in, poor thing.  It didn't even occur to me that it could be teeth, because she's never had trouble before.

Her hair is finally starting to fill in, it's just white blond so you still can't see it. :)  I love her sweet curls.

I've had a really hard time getting pictures of her lately because one, the camera on my iPod, which I normally use doesn't work very well anymore and I can't ever find our real camera and the charger for it at the same time, and two, she LOVES all things technology and if she sees it, she must have it.

She inherited her father's love of being in small spaces and seizes any opportunity she sees.  

   

  

      

       

Cutie Patootie!

We had a wonderful Christmas.  Louise was thoroughly spoiled between her aunt, cousins, and grandparents. :)  Books, crayons (she LOVES them), hand puppets, dolls, and sweet little hand-knitted mittens and hat from her Nana.  Justin and I got her some warm pajamas.  I was spoiled too, for that matter.  Justin and I have been justifying buying things that we really need as "it's for Christmas" for a few months now.  :)  First we got two chairs off of Craigslist in October, so we can now comfortably sit 4 people instead of just two on the love seat (the home teachers were glad).  Then we got our winter gear: coats, gloves, boots, and hats from an awesome thrift store and Sierra Trading Post so we can live here during the winter.  Then in November we got an ErgoBaby carrier, that has totally changed our lives.  Well, maybe not quite that drastic, but it has made life SO much easier.  Louise is at the stage where she wants to be independent, but doesn't like the prospect very much, so she would walk right in front of me and hold her adorably chubby little arms out, begging me to hold her all day, making it nearly impossible to get anything done (how can I refuse that?).  With the Ergo I can very comfortably carry her any of the 3 ways and she is quite content to snuggle with me and watch what I'm doing.  We love how cozy and snuggly it is.  We say often how we wish we would have gotten an Ergo in the first place instead of the cheap carrier we got that was uncomfortable for all involved.  We also got the infant insert with the Ergo, so we can use this from birth to age 2 (or 45 lbs.).  We seriously use it several times every day.  Best purchase ever.  Then we got a pot rack to hang on the wall since we don't have much cupboard space and had been keeping our pots and pans in a box on the floor for months.  That was also a wonderful purchase.  So all of this was supposed to be our Christmas, but Justin spoiled me and got me a new blouse and pair of nice jeans.  My old "nice" jeans had 2 huge rips in the crotch that I had tried to patch and repair unsuccessfully, so I really needed a new pair.  I LOVE my new pair.  They finally got here today.  It's my first pair of skinny jeans and I feel so good in them.  Justin's Christmas was a little boring-I felt bad.  He got a collection of Grimm's fairy tales, and about 25 books that he'll need for school this semester.  He promised me he was excited about it.

After we opened presents it started to snow, so we went out (in our winter gear!) and played in the fresh snow.  Louise didn't know what to think. :)  We went to the little park next to our house and she just stood there for about 2 minutes.  She'd never seen snow before!  Justin and I would walk around and tell her to come play with us, but she just stood there.  Finally we took her hands and pulled her a few steps which seemed to convince her it was ok and she was off!  We've gone out several times since then and she really loves it, but her boots are faux suede (not winter boots) and are always soaked when we finish, so I'm afraid she freezes.  We need to find her some real winter boots and snow pants (surprisingly hard to come by here).

I've been getting really crafty lately, which is entirely out of character for me.  I made 2 valances for Louise's room, a quiet book, a Christmas card book, a maxi dress without a pattern, made some old high water jeans into cute skinny jeans, made some cinnamon chips since they don't sell them in stores here and attempted some cinnamon chip bread like Great Harvest's (you just can't compete with Great Harvest), some cute lace boot sock things...I don't remember what else.  Here are some pictures of a few of them.

             

I gave a talk in church last Sunday.  It was kind of scary.  I used to talk all the time, but I realized that it has been almost 3 years since I talked last.  It went well.

I think that's about it.  Louise and I have thoroughly enjoyed having Justin home and all to ourselves the last couple of weeks, but it's back to the grinding stone on Monday.  He's already started on the readings.

Curls. 

This girl loves her food. :)

I'm so excited to go home next week and see my family and friends, while at the same time really not wanting to leave Justin.  The longest we've ever been apart is 5 days for his Napa trip.  I'm worried about Louise not understanding what's going on since we'll be gone for 2 weeks.  Oh well.  Thank heaven for FaceTime, eh?

Louise at 13 months

Louise is practically running everywhere.  We love it.  Lately she's really into making faces.  She'll pout and really jut her bottom lip out there one second and grin as big as she can the next.  And she's such a little ham.  She LOVES strangers and other people and has no compunctions against going up to anyone and asking them to pick her up or sit on their lap.  We had our first visit with her new doctor here and she was a little surprised by how not-shy Louise was.  She toddled right up to her, reached for her lap, and started playing with her stethoscope and earrings and face.  We also found out she's now in the 90th percentile for height and 77th for weight (a big jump from the 15th and 5th percentiles she was in a few months ago).

Life as we know it is racing onward.  We can't believe how quickly time is going by.  It feels like we just barely had a baby, and here we are with a 1 year-old living halfway across the country.  She's not a little baby anymore.  She's a toddler, through and through.  Justin says he can see a lot of my personality in her.  The "I want to do it my way, by myself, and no one can stop me" part of my personality. ;)  But that's ok.  I'm kind of excited for when she's a teenager.

She is extremely independent already.  It's adorable.  If I want to put a headband on her, it has to be her idea first, otherwise it gets torn off in seconds.  I'll show it to her and let her play with it, let her try to put it on herself, then when she can't she'll hand it to me.  Then, and only then, I can help her put it on and she'll leave it.  Same with the rest of her clothes.  

Louise is really into wearing things on her neck lately.  It doesn't matter what it is, if she can get it to stay across her shoulders she'll walk very gingerly "wearing" it until if falls off or she finds something new.  This morning it was a pair of pants draped very carefully across her shoulders, yesterday it was a lens cleaning cloth.  She also loves wearing rings on her wrists.  We have a Magic Bullet knock-off that has a bunch of rings that snap onto the top of the cups and she almost always has a few of them on both arms, or her colored rings that stack on the yellow cone things.  She's way into carrying around my shoes, too.  Usually sparkly flats, high heels, or boots.  Total girl. :)   

These days, when she's getting into something she knows she shouldn't, she looks at us and shakes her head while purposefully doing whatever she shouldn't.  *Sigh*  We're working on it.  Maybe in a few years she'll get it. ;)

Louise talks non-stop.  I'll have to record some of it.  She's very deliberate and articulate in her gibberish.  She loves the L and D sounds and is constantly throwing around sounds that involve them.  She likes to "read" us stories.  She's a very clear communicator and is great at letting us know what she needs.  She has a very expressive face, like her daddy.

She's still an unbelievable eater and sleeper.  She eats everything we eat.  We have our big meal for lunch instead of dinner since Justin has night classes, so we get to eat as a family almost every day.  Louise would eat fruit all day if I'd let her.  She goes to bed by 7 every night and wakes up between 7 and 8 (depending on how noisy Justin is when he gets ready for work).

We can't believe how in love with little Lulu we are, and we can't wait to see what the next 13 months hold for us. :)