Wild Goose Chases and Pots of Gold

I haven't been the one to post in a while, and I have something I just can't hold in anymore, so I guess I'll bust it out...
Have you ever had something that you're so interested in and completely fascinated by that you can spend hours and hours talking about it and never even notice the time pass? I like to call it the "passion", and it's got a reputation similar to that of the snipe. I first became aware of its existence as a freshman in college at Utah State. I was with my brother at the apartment of one of his former mission companions. It was one of those "friend of a friend of a friend" experiences for me, unfortunately, so I mostly just listened to what everyone else was talking about. There were more than a few of the other people there who were music majors, and, I kid you not, they spent the entire two-plus hours talking about nothing but music, performances, and the like. I was frankly quite impressed. I was an Accounting major at the time, and I couldn't even imagine spending an entire evening talking about ledgers, investments, or anything else business-related. It was then that I realized I needed to undertake what some view as a wild goose chase. I needed to find my "passion".

I came home from my mission two years later and still hadn't found it. It hadn't just come to me as I'd expected it to. I was kind of disappointed. In the meantime, I had definitely decided that it was most certainly not Accounting (no offense whatsoever to any accountants who read this; some of my dearest friends and family are accountants...). I switched to Psychology my second year at Utah State just in time to get married and transfer down to Dixie.

Best decision I've ever made, hands down. I didn't expect that, at all. I took a class down here that completely changed the direction of my professional life, and directed me away from the goose chase, toward a Leprechaun's rainbow. The class was "Child Family Mental Health", and it was all about helping parents engage with and understand their infants. I was in love. Anyone who really knows me knows that I have always had a particularly soft spot for babies, almost from the time I was one myself. I didn't even know this field existed, and yet, here it was, staring me in the face with those big, blue eyes... (I only became more sure when I found out that we were expecting, and Louise has blue eyes)

It's only now that we come to the Pot of Gold at the end of this rainbow. I recently applied, at the encouragement of the professor of the previously mentioned class, to-- get ready for it-- the University of Massachusetts Boston Infant Parent Mental Health Post-graduate Certificate Program in Napa, CA. It's the most comprehensive and complete program of its kind, and it's put on by the people who have basically laid the groundwork of this field. I realize that these names probably won't mean anything to the vast majority of you who read this, but I have to say them, because I'm just so darn excited. Among the faculty are Ed Tronick, T. Berry Brazelton, Dan Siegel, Bruce Perry, just to name a few. These people are the big cheese. It's really hard for me to come up with an appropriate analogy for others outside the field to understand what this is going to be like. It's like a music major going to a music camp where the conductors are Mozart, Bach, and Beethoven. These are the people who make the field what it is today.

So, for the next 15 months, I get to travel with my wife and daughter (as often as they'll agree to come with me) to beautiful Napa, California, sit at the the feet of the field's Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, and, heck, throw in John Williams, and learn about a topic that I absolutely love. There's no losing where this is concerned. I'm so stinking excited.

4 weeks old

I can't believe she's already 4 weeks old! It feels like we were just in the hospital having her yesterday.

Louise is the most adorable child ever, and I absolutely relish every moment of her life. She makes us laugh so often with the many funny faces she makes, her little sounds (she's a very squeaky baby), and especially her sneezes. She inherited her mothers' weird sneezing. She'll have this huge wind-up, then no sneeze. It's adorable! We've been trying to get a recording of it, but have failed, so far (but gotten a ton of other cute footage!).

Last night she slept from midnight to 7. It was fantastic. Then I fed her and she went back to sleep from 8 to 11. She's been doing this more and more for the past few weeks. 4 weeks old and she already sleeps through the night! One secret that has made a world of difference in getting her to sleep in her crib that my mother-in-law let me in on: put a heating pad down in the crib with her blanket on top of it, then take it out when you go to put her in. Works like a charm!

Justin's Grandpa Keate and his wife Connie came to visit us yesterday and I found out where Justin gets his way with children. Grandpa was so precious with her, I couldn't take my eyes off of them. And Louise just loved him. She settled right down in his arms and stared at him for the longest time before finally falling asleep. She was very relaxed and comfortable with him, it was so cute to watch. It's odd for the men of that generation to be that relaxed with babies, I think, so it must be a family trait.

Louise is getting so close to smiling!

Justin has decided to get his Phd. in clinical psychology, with an emphasis on infant mental health. He decided that if he just got his masters in infant mental health he'd really be limiting himself, so he's gonna go all the way to widen his horizon. I think that's very wise of him. He's the type that would always regret not going as far as he could. He's been applying to several different colleges lately, but the one we're hoping for is University of Utah. They have a really good program, are sort of close to home, and practically pay their graduate students to go there. We're really excited about it.

So blessed

She has such beautiful big blue eyes (sometimes very cross-eyed).

Wide eyed and wondering.

Her yawn while waking up. I love to watch her wake up. :)

Louise and Nana. She sure loves her.

The two loves of my life.

Such a stud.

Louise is 3 weeks old today. I keep getting the feeling that we cheated or something...everything has gone far too smoothly (knock on wood). Louise is positively delightful. We couldn't have asked for a better child. We're both so in love with her. I swear she understands us. If she's hungry and fussing when I'm doing something I can tell her that I'll feed her in just a minute while I finish up and she'll calm down and wait patiently. Last night was her first time sleeping in the crib and she wasn't very excited about it at first, but after talking to her and telling her that mommy and daddy were still in the room, we were just in bed, she quieted down and went right to sleep.

These days she even sleeps through the night. I almost worry, because she'll go 6 or 7 hours without eating during the night, but my mom said she's just setting a routine for herself and if she eats a lot during the day (which she sure does - especially before bed) it's fine. And speaking of feeding her, she's a pro, and was right from the very first time. I haven't had any trouble at all breastfeeding. She's incredible. We can't wait for when she can smile back at us. She smiles now, a lot, but mostly in her sleep, and she can't really control it yet.

The labor and delivery were wonderful, too. Just as a little background information, and possible explanation for all of this, Justin and I are both incredibly laid back and not easily upsetable people. I didn't worry hardly at all during the pregnancy, even when I probably should have. I didn't feel any pain of note at all during the whole labor and delivery. Even the contractions didn't hurt, although I'll admit I have a very high pain threshold. On the day before we had her (Wednesday) at my doctors appointment I was dilated to a 5 and 80% effaced. She said to start timing contractions and go when they were 5 minutes apart. I asked if I was supposed to time just the ones that hurt, but she said that since I hadn't had any painful ones to that point and I was already at a 5, I should just time them all. That evening I started timing them during Andy Griffith and they were around 4 minutes apart. But I didn't feel any different, so I didn't think we should go. I was sure we'd be sent home. My mom insisted, however, and so we went around midnight. We both slept through the night in the hospital (apparently I was in labor for 12 hours, but I'm not sure it counts because it didn't hurt). The contractions did start getting uncomfortable around 6 am and I could tell they could get pretty painful if left, so I got an epidural and slept some more. I'm glad I had an epidural, but I really hated it. It freaked me out to not be able to control or feel my lower half. They could flop my legs around like a rag doll and I couldn't feel a thing. Anyway, at 8 I was at an 8, and 9 I was a 9, and at 10 they decided we should have a baby. It was probably a half hour between when they said that and got everything ready, so I had time to panic. That was the only time I felt scared, and let me tell you, I was petrified. You hear so many horror stories and it had all been so easy to that point I was sure it was gonna be awful. I couldn't look at Justin because I knew he'd see through the facade and I'd start to cry. They finally came back and everything was ready, so I was too distracted to be scared after that. I pushed for about 45 minutes (apparently that's a long time, but it didn't seem like it). Justin was so excited and was acting just like a little boy on Christmas Eve. I was laughing at him all through the delivery. Also I kept throwing up, which was annoying. I was starved and I always throw up when I get too hungry. The doctor came towards the end and all of a sudden they were laying a baby on my chest. :) We love her so much. The recovery was pretty rough and painful for 4 or 5 days, though. Glad I'm passed that. I LOVE not being pregnant (my skin misses it, though)!

Oh. By the way, we sold our two cars and bought a new one. :) We got a 2007 Toyota Corolla with 46,000 miles. We LOVE it. We've been looking at Corollas for a few months now. We want a car that will be reliable for a good 10 years to get us through grad school (which deserves a post of its own...remind me. We have an exciting future ahead).

Parenthood is just a dream come true. Louise is so sweet and such an easy, laid back baby. We just can't get enough of her. Here're some pictures of the last few weeks, plus a video or two. :)

P.S. We can't decide who she looks like. Any ideas?

We have a noisy little sleeper. :)

Pictures!

Here's some picture of sweet baby Louise from birth to now. I'm not sure how to work the picture uploading thing, so they're not in order. She's already changed a lot. We are so in love. We just sit and stare at her all day. Or at least we would if we could. :)

This was today. Too cute to pass up.

Today. Guess what she's thinking about. She has an "angel kiss" over her right eye and this picture really makes it stand out.

Today.

Today. A little blurry, but would've been the picture I was going for. I was trying to get her looking at the camera, but she would only do it for a few seconds at a time before moving again.

Day 4. This is definitely a smile. I don't care what Grandpa says otherwise, and I definitely won't repeat it.

Day 4. Pretty little lady proves that newborns truly are incapable of touching their hands together above their heads.

Day 3. Grandma Chamberlain admiring the newest addition to her little gaggle of grandies.

Day 3. Grandpa Chamberlain is wrapped around her little fingers almost as much as her Daddy is.

Day 2. First day home from the hospital. Great-Grandma Heideman loves this little ball of sheer happiness.

Louise Doris Nuckles' first few moments.

Us in the hospital.

Announcement

Welcome Louise Doris Nuckles!
Born: October 20th at 11:19 am
Weight: 7 lbs 12 oz
Height: 19 1/2 in

Pictures and a post coming soon (we're a little busy right now. :) ). Until then, just know that she is beautiful.

37 weeks! (Full term)

I take back the "not overly emotional with this pregnancy" thing I said a couple of posts ago. I feel like these days it takes very little to overwhelm me and cause a few tears. It's just because I'm plumb worn out and tired. Everything hurts. It takes so long to do anything because I waddle, can't bend over without the risk of throwing up, etc. I'm so grateful for this opportunity, but I'm SOOO grateful that it's almost over. Several times this last week Justin would look over to see tears running down my cheeks and with panic on his face ask what's wrong and the only thing I can think of to say is that I'm just tired. That pretty much sums it all up.

On a brighter note: at my last doctors appointment the lady said that I'm dilated to a 3 1/2 and 70% effaced. That's good, right? Even so, they still didn't sound like they expected me to deliver anytime in the next year.

We got Justin's motorcycle back. Finally. It seems like it's been one thing after another with that bike. We bought it and got it home, figured out how to get it out of the truck (getting it IN was a trick), then the next day Justin tried to ride it and discovered that it would only start about half of the time and die at the end of the driveway. So it sat here for a few days while tried to figure out what to do and asked his brother in law to come look at it, who diagnosed the problem, so we took it to a mechanic in town. Well, he looked at it for a few days and decided he needed the manual to figure out what the problem was, so he ordered that. A week or so later he got the manual and decided what he thought the problem was and ordered the part. ANOTHER week or so later he got the part and said he could put it in and have the bike back together in 30-45 minutes. The NEXT DAY he finally finished and said we could pick it up (we've now owned the bike for nearly a month and only had it in our possession for a few days). During all of this time we weren't just sitting at home twiddling our thumbs. Only mostly. Justin bought a helmet, ordered a jacked and leather chaps, and got his permit. I got it registered, insured, and plates for it. All we needed was the bike. Justin went and picked it up yesterday morning and rode it home (it works!!!) and then figured out what he needed to put the plates on. Then he wired it on for the trip to Hurricane and left for his first official ride on his motorcycle. He arrived at Ace just fine and bought the parts he needed, called and told me he'd made it and that he was going to drive by Quail Lake and Leeds on the way home, then put the plate on in the Ace parking lot and tightened the bolts by hand. When he got home 20 minutes later he noticed the plate was gone. Seriously? Can't he just have something go right with this bike? So he and I got in the car and drove around for over an hour retracing his route twice, but didn't find it. Good thing the DMV is now open on Fridays. We went and got new plates and put them on with a wrench (or whatever tool it takes), which brings us up to date. My parents went for a ride yesterday and seemed to have quite a good time. I can't wait to be able to ride it. :)

Humbling experience today

I work at the Toquerville City Offices, and it's typical for people who come in to look at me and ask when the baby's due. I was feeling particularly heavy today when a woman on her way out asked and I replied "not soon enough!" She looked at me significantly and said "well, at least you can have children." Oy. Open mouth, insert foot. I felt so stupid. She's completely right. This pregnancy really hasn't been that bad, for all of my complaining. Sure, I've had my fair share of sickness, but I can endure this short time of discomfort for the eternity of joy we'll receive because of it. I mean, we get a BABY for crying out loud (no pun intended)! I can't believe how blessed we are and how much faith Heavenly Father has in us to entrust us with one of his precious little spirits. I'm so very grateful for this chance to carry Louise and be her mommy.

And yes. I did just google "cute babies" and use the cutest one I could find. It's the best I can do for the next few weeks until I have my own cute baby.